Sometimes you just have to stand still for a minute and give thanks to God for all the great blessings in your life. I am standing in that place right now. My redesign is almost complete. I am in such an amazing place. I spent the weekend in New York City visiting my beloved friend Ray. We've known each other for 5 years now--since CTI leadership. We connected at the first retreat and we make the effort to stay connected. Being in Ray's orb is like getting a huge dose of energy and love. And it helped me articulate that it is all good.
First of all, my family is healthy and happy. Most importantly, Sarah, Marcos and Tevis are thriving. I love my work and I am well compensated. I have a home I like (although it is not St Heliers). My dog Radar is getting older and I get to enjoy his last days. I have creative outlets including travel and blogs, and travel blogs. Most of all I know that whatever curves are ahead in life, I have friends and a God whose shoulders are so big that it will all be good.
One evening in NYC, I went to dinner with Ray and his friends. It was like having dinner at the United Nations. I was the only American: Ray is from Haiti, his friend Daniel and cousin Lisa are from Melbourne, Australia, Yanni is from Greece, Ricardo is from Brazil and Mateo and Sonja are from Germany. I had a great time talking to Lisa and Daniel especially as they have invested a lot of time in various kinds of leadership programs and are very self-aware for their young age. Lisa said something that I did not completely agree with, (something like) "The great thing about investing in leadership development is that it gives you more control over your life." She feels she is more often in choice and living more intentionally.
I understand what she is saying, and what I love about being almost 51 is that I can live with the paradox (and love the paradox) of living intentionally and knowing that I have no control. Control is an illusion. We can develop all sorts of behaviors to give us a sense of control, but it is faux control.
I am so at peace with the no control thing. I finally feel like I am beginning to get the hang of what the author of Hebrews meant (Hebrews 11:1): I am sure of what I hope for and I have faith in what I cannot see. God is in control.
I also recognize that a lot of my hard work and investment from living intentionally is paying off. I am the woman who travels with her foldable bike and has awesome adventures. At the end of the month I get to visit friends in New Zealand and see penguins and attend the amazing World of Wearable Art show. The work I do (labor of love) to stay connected is paying dividends too. My friend Mara drove all the way out to the Denver airport in a wicked thundershower to have dinner with me. And those of you who know that the Denver airport is almost in Nebraska can appreciate the effort involved. I don't know what else life holds, I just want to give thanks in advance! (I believe it is going to be AWESOME!)